Out of the Loop

It has been a hectic past few weeks for us.  First we went through Passover, which is always a bit of a stress in itself.  Then, the next day was C.'s surgery.  We were in and out of the hospital.  Now he is on the full road to recovery and I am back...  I think.

The surgery went well, without complications. I have to say that the staff at WMC was awesome and I would definitely recommend going there, if you must, for a child's hospital stay.

The day of the surgery, they had told us that C. could not eat from 6 hours before, but could nurse up to 4 hours before.  As you know, C. has difficulty nursing and barely will tolerate it when he is not starving.  I tried to keep him in bed with me as long as I could and gave him pumped milk from a bottle instead after he barely nursed.  We had to be at the hospital at 12 pm, so the night before, my mom and I spent packing bags. We had to be sure to pack his formula because we were told the hospital would not have any.  We packed snacks, clothes, books, magazines, an alarm clock to plug in the ipod for C.'s white noise, stuffed animals, we packed basically everything but the dog!  I started getting very nervous and decided to make sure the doctor knew how much this baby meant to me.  I would have done it in sharpie on his little body if I was not scared of the chemicals.

Off to the hospital we went...

At the hospital, we went to admitting where we gave them all of our insurance information (which they managed to botch) and signed our lives away.  They sent us to the operating waiting area.  There, we met a young mother whose 4 month old child was having his 3rd surgery.  She was  calm and relaxed... She explained that he was having another surgery because he was born with one kidney and his urethra was malformed.  I felt silly being as nervous as I was over a "simple" UPJ obstruction when her baby was really having discomfort and multiple surgeries.  After waiting over an hour, they called me and my husband in.

The surgeon went over the procedure and explained that he was also going to address the kidney reflux so that C. would not have to have another procedure when he is about 1 1/2 years old.  He was a sport and even took a picture with C. for me.

 Then the anesthesiologist came and we met with her. Let me tell you, no bedside manner at all!  She was very abrupt and matter of fact.  She said that we had to put a hat on C. and wrap him with warmed blankets to reduce shock.


Again, we had to sign away our lives.  Then she said they were going to take C. I kind of freaked out. I had been told that I would be able to stay with him until he was under the anesthesia.  She said that babies under 6 months don't demonstrate any stranger anxiety and that he did not need me.  I said that I was going with him... So she brought a gown and hat for me to wear and walked away.  Then she yelled back that I should follow with the baby.  I followed her.  When we were close, she snapped at me that I was not wearing a mask.  She gave me one, and he started crying because he could not see my face anymore.  We went into the operating room.  She told me that when she put a hand up, I had to walk right out, no questions or comments.  They put an anesthesia mask over C.'s mouth and nose and he was crying so much!  She put her hand up and a nurse told me to kiss his arm and go.  Someone outside the door showed me how to get back to the waiting room where my husband and mother were waiting.

 We waited for so long... It seemed to be days instead of hours.  He went in for his surgery at about 2:30 and they said that it would take about 2 1/2 hours.  The surgery finished at around 2 hours 15 minutes.  While we were waiting, I tried to keep busy... It seems that I am a big stress eater.  I ate a bag of Munchos, some pretzels, some chips... I had a few Dr. Peppers as well.  I took a walk and saw the hall of baseball and the model doll house rooms that were set up in the hallways.  My husband went to make arrangements with Bikur Cholim for my meals during our stay.

When the surgeon came out to tell us how C. was, I held my breath.  He said that they were able to do all that they needed to and that he was fine.  All I wanted to hear was that I could do see him and hold him.  When we were going back to recovery, my husband's parents came and I know I was rude, but all I wanted to do was see my baby!  The surgeon brought us back and the nurse was holding him.  He was crying so hoarsely.  She handed him to me and it was so hard to find a way to hold him with all the tubes and wires! I was so scared to hurt him; I could not figure out where to put my hands.  She told me that I could nurse him, so we tried.  The only thing he wanted was to put his face against my chest.  It took a while before they had a room for him.  They let me walk along side of his crib while they brought him up.  It was a long day.

The first night, C. was wiped out and on morphine.  I sent my husband and my mother home and I figured that I would get some sleep, but C. had other plans.  He would cry out every few minutes and I would go pick him up from that big metal crib.  We stood there, hooked up to an IV, catheter, and the nephrostomy bag all night.  My little baby looked so much smaller with all that gear on his little body.  The nurse, Dina, kept coming in to see how he was doing and to tell me to get some sleep, but while he was uncomfortable or scared, whatever was bothering him, I was not going to be able to sleep at all.  It was a long night.

I will have to continue the rest of the story tomorrow, I am exhausted!