Dear Coby,
Tomorrow, well since it is past midnight I guess it is today, you will be having your surgery. I have packed up anything that we might need for your hospital stay and Nana is here with us to help me when I need it. You can't eat any formula 8 hours before the surgery but can nurse up to 4 hours before. You have to be in the hospital at 12 noon. I am not going to leave the hospital until you do... So we are in for the long haul. They said that you should be in for about 3 days. Tonight, you are tossing and turning, unable to settle, almost like you know that something is going to happen.
Your mama is a nervous wreck. It is amazing that in 5 months and 2 days, such a little guy could become my whole universe. I would not know what to do if anything happened to you. Noni told me that her mother said to her when Daddy was born this:
"A baby's poop is like perfume, and screams like a song" and I know now what she means.
I need to see your eyes light up when you see my face. I need your grumpy morning breath yelling to feed you first thing every day. I need to feel you nuzzle in my armpit when you are sleepy. I need your hands to wrap around mine when I check on you at night and you won't let go. Those tiny spiderweb fingers are like super glue that I never want to remove.
I love the way that you grab my necklace while you drink, and grunt at me so I will feed your your cereal faster like a little caveman. I love the way you jump- all the time, any time- because that is your favorite thing to do in the whole wide world. The way that you get excited about the jump is a way that we should all aspire to be so excited about anything.
You are my everything and I am a mess.
I am going to snuggle you like I never want the morning to come.
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
4 months, 2 weeks, 6 days
Dear Coby,
Today we started cleaning for Passover. There is so much to do and all you wanted to do was sleep on me! I love when you snuggle in and relax when I hold you. You have been so sleepy the past few days. I think that you might be going through a growth spurt again. You ate your peas and cereal for dinner and were so ready for a bath and right to bed!
Tonight, when I was putting you to bed, you relaxed in my arms and were smiling and giggling in your sleep. It was so adorable! At one point, you were fussing so I went in to give you your paci back. I noticed that in your bed there were only 2 pacis... That was strange, I knew there had been more. When I picked you up, the mystery was solved, there were 3 pacis insideyour Woombie! You must have pulled the Woombie near your face and pulled them in with your hands. That is talent!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Today we started cleaning for Passover. There is so much to do and all you wanted to do was sleep on me! I love when you snuggle in and relax when I hold you. You have been so sleepy the past few days. I think that you might be going through a growth spurt again. You ate your peas and cereal for dinner and were so ready for a bath and right to bed!
Tonight, when I was putting you to bed, you relaxed in my arms and were smiling and giggling in your sleep. It was so adorable! At one point, you were fussing so I went in to give you your paci back. I noticed that in your bed there were only 2 pacis... That was strange, I knew there had been more. When I picked you up, the mystery was solved, there were 3 pacis insideyour Woombie! You must have pulled the Woombie near your face and pulled them in with your hands. That is talent!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Peas and Cloth Diapers
Dear Coby,
Tonight your first food was peas. You really loved eating them! You were so upset when you finished that I had to make you a little more cereal. You were so covered in peas and cereal that you looked like the incredible hulk.
I have started putting you in cloth diapers at night the past few weeks. My reason is because you, my boy, are a very heavy wetter! If I don't wake you up around 11:30, you will wet the whole bed. Then again around 3:30 or 4, you will wet through again. I found that if you are wearing the cloth diapers (with extra padding) your bed, at least, is dry in the morning. You look pretty funny with a huge tush in your cloth diapers with extra padding!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Tonight your first food was peas. You really loved eating them! You were so upset when you finished that I had to make you a little more cereal. You were so covered in peas and cereal that you looked like the incredible hulk.
I have started putting you in cloth diapers at night the past few weeks. My reason is because you, my boy, are a very heavy wetter! If I don't wake you up around 11:30, you will wet the whole bed. Then again around 3:30 or 4, you will wet through again. I found that if you are wearing the cloth diapers (with extra padding) your bed, at least, is dry in the morning. You look pretty funny with a huge tush in your cloth diapers with extra padding!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
4 months, 1 week, 4 days: Fevers Stink
Dear Coby,
You had a hard day today! Once again, you didn't want to take your morning nap. I tried everything... we snuggled, you had a warm bottle, I rocked you... I even packed you in the stroller and we went out for a walk, only just as we got outside it started pouring. I walked you in circles around teh parking garage, but you got very upset at me and we went back inside.
Today you had a play date with your friend Jordan. During your play date, you were very tired and started getting fussy. You wanted to sleep, but you could not settle, probably because you did not take your morning nap again. You started crying and then, because you are such a funny boy, you were laughing and crying at the same time! When Jordan went home, you snuggled in to me and finally fell asleep. You slept for about 2.5 hours, you were so sleepy!
When you woke up, you were very clingy and did not want me to put you down. You felt warm, so I took your temperature. It was 100.4! I called Daddy to have him bring home some Tylenol for you. Once you took your Tylenol, you felt much better! You ate your cereal, took your bath, and you even went to bed by 8 pm.
I love you always and forever,
Mama
You had a hard day today! Once again, you didn't want to take your morning nap. I tried everything... we snuggled, you had a warm bottle, I rocked you... I even packed you in the stroller and we went out for a walk, only just as we got outside it started pouring. I walked you in circles around teh parking garage, but you got very upset at me and we went back inside.
Today you had a play date with your friend Jordan. During your play date, you were very tired and started getting fussy. You wanted to sleep, but you could not settle, probably because you did not take your morning nap again. You started crying and then, because you are such a funny boy, you were laughing and crying at the same time! When Jordan went home, you snuggled in to me and finally fell asleep. You slept for about 2.5 hours, you were so sleepy!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Monday, April 4, 2011
Doctor Visit
Dear Coby,
Today you had a doctor visit with Dr. Macbeth, your pediatrician. She is so proud of how much you have grown! You now weigh 14.5 pounds, putting you almost in the 50th percentile! She said that you are ready to try real food! I am excited about introducing fruits and veggies to you! I think you will love them. You had to have 3 vaccination shots and one oral vaccine. You were very upset during your shots, but resumed your happy behavior right after. I had to go to my doctor after your appointment and you were all smiles and let everyone hold you! I am so proud that I have such a brave boy!
When we got home, you wanted your cereal and a bath, but we had to go pick up Daddy at the train station first. You fell asleep in the car, so I had to wake you for your cereal and bath. You can see your bandaids on your little legs in this picture. :(
You had a hard time falling asleep, but right now, you are asleep, but keep waking up fussy. I gave you a little Tylenol because the last time you had vaccinations you got a fever. I hope that you are comfortable and not in any pain. I really hope that you don't get a fever again!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Today you had a doctor visit with Dr. Macbeth, your pediatrician. She is so proud of how much you have grown! You now weigh 14.5 pounds, putting you almost in the 50th percentile! She said that you are ready to try real food! I am excited about introducing fruits and veggies to you! I think you will love them. You had to have 3 vaccination shots and one oral vaccine. You were very upset during your shots, but resumed your happy behavior right after. I had to go to my doctor after your appointment and you were all smiles and let everyone hold you! I am so proud that I have such a brave boy!
When we got home, you wanted your cereal and a bath, but we had to go pick up Daddy at the train station first. You fell asleep in the car, so I had to wake you for your cereal and bath. You can see your bandaids on your little legs in this picture. :(
You had a hard time falling asleep, but right now, you are asleep, but keep waking up fussy. I gave you a little Tylenol because the last time you had vaccinations you got a fever. I hope that you are comfortable and not in any pain. I really hope that you don't get a fever again!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
4 months, 1 week, 3 days: Nap Strike!
Dear Coby,
This week it seems that you are on a nap strike. Usually, you take a 9:30ish nap and sleep for an hour and a half or so. Then in the afternoon, you take a 2ish nap until about 4. You wake up, have a bottle, play, and then have cereal. After cereal, you take a bath and then we either play a little, read a story, or you are tired and want to go to bed. You are generally sleeping in bed by 8 at the latest.
This week, you are only taking afternoon naps and then want to go to bed later! Yesterday, you did not take a morning nap, aside from a 5 minute power nap on me, and then fell asleep around 4 pm while Daddy was watching you. You slept until 5:45 and then wanted a bottle, play, cereal, bath, and then much more play! You did not go to bed until about 9:30!
I finally got you down for a nap around 11:45 today, by playing white noise in your ear and nursing you. You talked to me while fighting off the nap. Right now, you are swinging in your swing, sleeping peacefully. You were so overtired!
This week it seems that you are on a nap strike. Usually, you take a 9:30ish nap and sleep for an hour and a half or so. Then in the afternoon, you take a 2ish nap until about 4. You wake up, have a bottle, play, and then have cereal. After cereal, you take a bath and then we either play a little, read a story, or you are tired and want to go to bed. You are generally sleeping in bed by 8 at the latest.
This week, you are only taking afternoon naps and then want to go to bed later! Yesterday, you did not take a morning nap, aside from a 5 minute power nap on me, and then fell asleep around 4 pm while Daddy was watching you. You slept until 5:45 and then wanted a bottle, play, cereal, bath, and then much more play! You did not go to bed until about 9:30!
I finally got you down for a nap around 11:45 today, by playing white noise in your ear and nursing you. You talked to me while fighting off the nap. Right now, you are swinging in your swing, sleeping peacefully. You were so overtired!
Today we have a doctor's appointment for your 4 month checkup. I can't wait to see how much you weigh! You feel like you have gained more weight and you sure do eat a ton! I hope that you don't need any shots, but I think that you do. I am sure that you will be brave and strong no matter what!
I love you always and forever,
Mama
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Out Damn Milk!
I am on the third pump of the day and I have just about an ounce. From 3 pumps. My nipples feel like they have been run through a cheese grater... AND I HAVE AN OUNCE?!?! WTF?
Maybe I have not been eating/drinking enough today? Maybe I am stressed? This is so frustrating! Why can't these huge boobs that I have been lugging around for 23 years produce the damn milk they have been made to produce? This is insane. I generally get an ounce per pump, both sides combined. I have never gotten such a small amount. I am getting so frustrated.
On another note, I decided today that I am going to start writing letters to my son about all of the events that happen in his life... So I went to Staples and I bought a beautiful new journal. I bought nice new pens. I waited until he was in bed and I was so excited to begin this new way of filling in his memories! Then I started thinking, "Where do the pictures go?" and I realized that the journal would not work because I needed a way to add in pictures and there was no room! I realized that the best thing to do would be to make a blog that I could print out for him and bind into a book... So Letters To Coby was born (edited 5/26/11: I have combined those letters with this blog... I can edit out my rants before I print it for him). It is pretty boring right now... I am too damned exhausted from pumping to do it up tonight :( SO this will be my bitch and whine, review baby products blog and the other one will be letters to my sweet boy...Can't let him know that his mama is a raving lunatic obsessed with her (lack of) breast milk, can we?
Maybe I have not been eating/drinking enough today? Maybe I am stressed? This is so frustrating! Why can't these huge boobs that I have been lugging around for 23 years produce the damn milk they have been made to produce? This is insane. I generally get an ounce per pump, both sides combined. I have never gotten such a small amount. I am getting so frustrated.
On another note, I decided today that I am going to start writing letters to my son about all of the events that happen in his life... So I went to Staples and I bought a beautiful new journal. I bought nice new pens. I waited until he was in bed and I was so excited to begin this new way of filling in his memories! Then I started thinking, "Where do the pictures go?" and I realized that the journal would not work because I needed a way to add in pictures and there was no room! I realized that the best thing to do would be to make a blog that I could print out for him and bind into a book... So Letters To Coby was born (edited 5/26/11: I have combined those letters with this blog... I can edit out my rants before I print it for him). It is pretty boring right now... I am too damned exhausted from pumping to do it up tonight :( SO this will be my bitch and whine, review baby products blog and the other one will be letters to my sweet boy...Can't let him know that his mama is a raving lunatic obsessed with her (lack of) breast milk, can we?
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